The Shultz sisters hit Seattle, but their weekend is interrupted by a break-in. Someone is swiping panties, and the girls must track down the goods and the thief.
Synopsis
JJ Shultz is torn between two hot men. So what’s a girl to do? Prolong the decision and escape to Seattle, of course! Especially when sister Lori invites her to a fashion trade show.
But their plans for a weekend of cocktails and sisterly bonding go south when Lori’s panties disappear from their hotel room. It’s not just any pair of unmentionables – it’s Lori’s only prototype for a new product she’s almost ready to reveal.
Determined to find Lori’s treasured trunks, the sisters set out to track down the thief, with the help of some friends at home, a few quirky new acquaintances, and a cat who can’t stop himself from shedding all over the evidence.
What’s Cool from Coliloquy: In The Great Panty Caper, Lori’s considering a weekend fling and you get to decide just how far she goes with tall, dark, and handsome. Dinner and flirting, or more? It’s up to you! In the meantime, JJ needs a little help figuring out which of her boyfriends to call for some sleuthing tips. Can she resist the urge to phone her hot English man? Or will the all-American hunk fulfill her needs?
Excerpt
I shut off the water and toweled off before wrapping myself in the hotel robe. I propped open the door to let the steam escape, then set to work toweling off my hair. I rehung the towel, grabbed my brush, and headed back into the room.
Lori was sitting on the end of her bed with a plastic bag in her lap and a funny look on her face.
“What is it?” I asked.
“My underwear. I know I put them in the laundry bag last night after I took them off. They aren’t here.”
“What?”
“My thong. It’s been stolen.”
I rolled my eyes and set my hairbrush on the dresser before prying open a drawer. I grabbed socks, panties, matching bra, jeans, and a cute racerback tank before retreating to my bed.
“No one stole your panties,” I told her. “Since we arrived, you’ve scattered clothing over every square inch of this room. You couldn’t find your panties if they were hanging off your ear.”
Lori frowned down at the garbage bag like she expected them to appear by magic. “I’m serious. I know I put them in here after I took them off.”
“Try looking under the desk. Or beside your bed. Or on the bathroom floor. Or in any of the dozen other places you’ve left piles of clothes since we got here. Come on, get dressed. I found a couple good restaurants within walking distance.”
Lori stood up, her expression still suspicious, but her desire for a hot meal winning out.
Within twenty minutes, we were both dried and dressed in skinny jeans with boots and just the right amount of makeup. We took the elevator to the lobby, bickering good-naturedly about whether to try the Ethiopian place a few blocks away or the Japanese spot several blocks in the other direction.
In the end, we settled on Italian. And a big bottle of Chianti that went right to our heads.
By the time we got back to the room, I was ready to crash.
Lori, on the other hand, was determined.
“I still need to find my panties,” she insisted. “They’re one of the prototypes for the Hoochie Kit.”
“So try cleaning up some of the piles,” I told her, flopping back on my bed and kicking off my boots. I pulled off my top and jeans, folding them neatly before setting them on the nightstand. “I’m going to sleep.”
I must’ve drifted off, because when I came to, it was an hour later. Blue Cat was asleep on my chest, his impressive weight crushing the air out of my lungs.
Lori was sitting on the edge of my bed, shaking me by the shoulder.
“JJ, wake up,” she hissed. “I can’t find my panties.”
I sighed. “What is it with you and those damn panties?”
“I only have the one thong with the label stitched on the hip. I need to be able to copy it to make more.”
“This doesn’t sound that complicated.”
“Help me find them. Please?”
I sat up, rolling Blue Cat off my chest and earning myself a growl of annoyance.
“Are you sure you had them?” I asked. “Maybe you did that trick with Rob where you tuck them in his back pocket so he knows you’re going commando.”
“No, I swear,” she said, holding up her white garbage bag. “I know I put them in here, just like Mom always taught us. I just cleaned up all the piles, and I can’t find them anywhere.”
I started to dismiss her complaint, but something in the urgency of her tone made me reconsider. I glanced around the room. She’d definitely cleaned.
“You’re sure you had them?”
“Positive. I think there’s a panty thief.”
“I’ve heard that. She travels with the Cookie Monster and the Tooth Fairy.” I sighed and stood up, moving toward the dresser. I picked up my laptop and returned to the bed, crawling under the covers in my own panties and cami top. Lori watched, frowning.
“You’re going to Google panty thieves?”
“No, dork. I’m going to show you something.”
Lori watched as I flipped open the computer, hitting a few keystrokes. I knew I’d probably regret this, but it was the only way to shut my sister up. Lori watched quietly for a moment, then walked around to the other side of the bed and crawled in beside me the way she used to do when she had a nightmare when we were little.
I found the file I was looking for and queued it up. Then I turned to Lori. “Remember that last trip I made back to the room this morning?”
“Which one?”
“I went back for more business cards. But while I was here, I decided to set up the video camera on my laptop to monitor the room.”
She blinked at me. “What? Why on earth for?”
“To exonerate Blue Cat and prove he doesn’t sleep on your stuff.”
She raised an eyebrow. “You set up a kitty cam?”
“I wanted to demonstrate his innocence.”
“How’d that work out for you?”
I looked at my pet, who was hard at work grooming one of my socks on the edge of my pillow.
“Not so well,” I admitted.
I refrained from saying he’d jumped on my sister’s bed within ten minutes of us leaving the room, so I hadn’t bothered watching the video after that.
“But the camera was filming all day,” I told her. “Maybe I caught something useful.”
Lori blinked, too stunned by my revelation to be annoyed by Blue Cat’s indiscretion. “Let’s watch.”
“We can fast-forward through the boring parts,” I said, and hit Play.
The boring parts turned out to include a thirty-minute sequence of Blue Cat knocking items off the desk before licking his crotch. This was followed by several long hours of staring at Lori’s unmade bed.
She sighed. “I guess this is a waste of—”
“Wait,” I said, holding up my hand to shush her, even though there wasn’t any sound on the video. “Look.”
We both watched as a heavyset woman in a housekeeping uniform walked into the frame. For two minutes, we watched her dust, fluff pillows, and fail to wash the drinking glasses on our nightstand.
“Ew,” Lori said as she wiped one glass with her dust rag and set it back on the nightstand with a little cardboard cap signifying it was clean.
“At least she didn’t spit in it,” I said.
We kept watching as the maid glanced over her shoulder, then stooped down to pick up a white garbage bag.
“That’s it!” Lori yelled, smacking my leg under the covers. “That’s where I keep my dirty clothes!”
I hit a few keys to slow down the video, sensing we were getting close to something good. Or not good, as the case may be.
We watched as the maid fished into the bag and drew out Lori’s lacy thong. Pulling a small Ziploc bag from her apron, she deposited the panties in the baggie and stuffed it into her pocket.
“What the hell?” Lori gasped, looking at me.
Author
Tawna Fenske traveled a career path that took her from newspaper reporter to English teacher in Venezuela to marketing geek to PR manager for her city’s tourism bureau. An avid globetrotter and social media fiend, Tawna is the author of the popular blog, Don’t Pet Me, I’m Writing, and a member of Romance Writers of America. She lives with her gentleman friend in Bend, Oregon, where she’ll invent any excuse to hike, bike, snowshoe, float the river, or sip wine on her back deck. She’s published several romantic comedies with Sourcebooks, including Making Waves and Believe it or Not, as well as the interactive fiction caper, Getting Dumped, with Coliloquy and the novella Eat, Play, Lust with Entangled Publishing.