Welcome to a very special edition of He Said/She Said, where (against strong objections from our PR team), we blog one of our actual office conversations.
Last week, ABC’s Good Morning America stopped by Coliloquy HQ to film a segment on Sheryl Sandberg’s new LeanIn movement, which is focused on giving women the tools and support to “lean in” to work-life challenges.
The production team was super nice, but they missed the fun going on in our team’s IM chat while the producer was interviewing Lisa:
Interviewer asks Lisa to rephrase her description of what Coliloquy does
Kaamna: she just asked Lisa: “what does that mean, in plain english, for people, like, in the midwest”
Melanie (chatting from NJ): we don’t speak plain english on the coasts
Waynn: I’m afraid she’s going to say “we publish interactive porn for women”
Interviewer refers to what Doug does for a living as “he’s got a very colorful type of profession”
Waynn: “colorful profession” makes him sound like a hitman
Waynn: or a gigolo
Jennifer: best description of doug ever
Jennifer: let’s text doug
Waynn: from lisa’s phone
Kaamna (reaches for Lisa’s phone): It’s unlocked!! Is she insane?
Melanie: what does he do????
Jennifer: gigolo hitman?
Kaamna: oooo that is colorful
Kaamna: maybe we should do a book about that
Melanie: who wears a technicolor dreamcoat?
Kaamna: (reading Lisa’s phone) Doug says he is going to wear an all-white track suit and we get to choose: wife beater or no shirt?
Jennifer: would it be bad if we just started screaming at each other?
Kaamna: i think we should put on “i’m sexy and i know it” and gyrate in the background
Jennifer: waynn says “NOT EVERYONE CAN BE AN ENGINEER”
Jennifer: and then i’ll say “I’m so sick of this shit!”
Jennifer: and then start cussing waynn out in mandarin
Waynn: i wonder if they’re picking up our laughing in the background
Jennifer: god such a killjoy waynn
Kaamna: which means “shut up”
Kaamna: in california speak
Lisa talks about being inspired by her LeanIn Circle
Kaamna: lisa is inspired and Shayan is yawning
Kaamna: i think he needs to lean in
Interviewer asks Lisa what a LeanIn Circle is like
Kaamna: “is it like church?”
Kaamna: “lion’s club?”
Waynn: I think she’s trying to come up with an analogy.
Jennifer: Should I yell “HER SOUL IS LOST”?!
Aimee: [actually laughs out loud]
Waynn: aimee the interview is RUINED!!!
Jennifer: we’re going to hell
Kaamna: except for waynn
Kaamna: he’s going to paradise
Interviewer asks Lisa if she’s grown up with a lot of girlfriends
Aimee: There was this one time at a sleepover…
Jennifer: think she’ll ask waynn if he grew up with a lot of girlfriends too?
Waynn: oh god
Jennifer: if so, waynn should reply, “DID I? Well, let me tell you…”
Jennifer: i can’t believe lisa just denied my baby’s existence and threw me out of the mom’s portion of the interview. I have such great parenting tips after watching all of you.
Jennifer: 1. (from kaamna): do not have kids
Jennifer: 2. (from Lisa) if you do have kids, instead of storytime, practice reciting your erotica presentation during play time with your 1 year old
Jennifer: 3. (from Mel) when you are on a call and your daughter is scared of something on TV, shoo her away
Melanie: i am teaching courage
Melanie: i won’t always be around!
Jennifer: this post could guide them.
Jennifer: like a dachshund in 5 feet of snow.
Aimee: omg you’re pregnant?!?
Jennifer: no but it’s the principle